The European Parliament’s CLEW Committee for Climate, Environment and the End of the World was halted today when MEPs complained of an unpleasant smell in the committee room. Maximo Konker, Italian chairman of the committee, suspended the meeting when MEPs protested against the foul-smelling gas and after one petite Green MEP fainted.
MEPs immediately pointed the finger at a right-wing British MEP as the guilty culprit. Ididna Letoneov, a Latvian MEP, asserted that she was sure the smell in question was the fault of MEP Dan Guffer, member of the BBS Party (British are the best and all the rest are stupid) who was seated next to her at the committee. She told the Waffle that Mr. Guffer had been ´shifting about suspiciously in his seat, and then I saw him look round with a big grin on his face´.
When MEPs confronted Mr. Guffer outside the committee room, he angrily protested his innocence: ´This is just another example of how our party is bullied and discriminated against. We British are a proud and honourable people. I find this treatment disgusting´. On further questioning as to the origins of the odour, Mr. Guffer said that Bulgarian socialist MEP Alex Goodmanis ´could not be trusted´ and ´had been smelling a bit off since the first committee meeting´.
MEPs from other parties did not hesitate to voice their criticisms and to seek political gains from the malodorous act. German Green MEP Sven Gudasgold said that ´this just shows how certain MEPs are not taking climate change seriously enough. We should all do our bit to hold in our gaseous emissions´.
UK MEP Earl Spofforth of Humphingdonshire, member of the UKFC party (the United Kingdom is frightfully clever party) guffawed loudly for several minutes and then when he had regained his composure, he told the Waffle with a large grin ´well old boy, it just shows how this European Union is nothing but a lot of hot air´.
Konker, the committee chairman, has called for sensitive gas detectors to be installed in his committee rooms beneath MEPs to enable future early detection of foul-smelling emissions from his committee members.
