The European Commission has decided, following the sighting of a rare and dazzling object in the sky, to relocate to Reykjavik, a top-secret document sighted by Weekly Waffle reporters said.
“It appears that the yellow-tinted disc of intense brightness has returned to the skies of Belgium, we must take action.” The document explains that Commission officials feel “uncomfortable” at the sight of the sun shining through their windows.
“Rays of light provoke extreme reactions inside Commission HQ. Today we have seen scores of workers (well, the ones that have stayed in Brussels over the May holiday) literally screaming out for more greyness.”
In a bid to improve the situation, the Commission has outlined plans to relocate to Reykjavik, Iceland. “If it’s not cold and grey for natural reasons up there, then at least we can rely on the volcano to pour out more inky greyness,” the plan states.
In somewhat shaky handwriting, the document also notes the possibility of placing kegs full of gunpowder at strategic locations near the currently erupting volcano, and at other volcanoes thought to be unstable.
The plan would be to blow-up these supplies periodically in order to ensure a permanent cloud of greyness starting in Iceland and spreading rapidly south across the entire European continent.
The WW would, however, like to point out that these plans could not be entirely verified due to the scruffy nature of the seen document.
In a short-term attempt to counteract the sunlight induced madness the Commission is understood to have established grey container rooms where distressed officials can go to gather themselves together.
The document was seen in the hands of a high level Commission official as he stepped into his 4×4 ready for his daily mission of travelling up and down Rue de le Loi and Rue Belliard in Brussels for eight hours a day.
“The more greyness I can create by using my polluting 4×4, the more I am contributing to the efficiency of the Commission”, the official mumbled to a colleague.
